Hey, it’s my birthday today

And what better way to celebrate it than by displaying my intolerance for subgroups and resentment of certain members of society?

 

In other words, a rant.

 

The subgroup? Bicyclists. Yes, I know they don't much seem like a subgroup but have you examined a cyclist lately? Seen the skin tight lycra costume that has additional padding in the crotch area, that is supposed to be for arse comfort but which we all know is designed to make the size of their package more impressive? And the helmets designed to look like the crest of some weird prehistoric dinosauraus bird thing. Better aerodynamically? Yeah, sure, if you are a fucking bird! Don't get me started on the fact that 'professional' cyclists shave their legs for lesser wind resistance. I personally think its because secretly they like the feeling of smooth legs and are worried that it might detract from their straighness.

 

So, weird tribal plumage? Check.

Unique costume? Check.

Spending absolutely insane amounts of money on equipment, as well as the actual bike? Check.

 

Sounds like a subgroup to me!

 

Even then, I am not generally intolerant of subgroups, per se. It's the attitude that makes me loathe them and I see this attitude all the time, because I drive in the city during peak hour traffic. And I drive a bus, which means that I can't get around cyclists, due to the space restrictions. There is almost nothing that enrages me more than having to stick behind a 20 km per hour cyclist, only to get to a red traffic light and have them miraculously decide to become pedestrians and use the crossing.

 

They swing off one foot and do a sort of little hop, to indicate perambulation, while they are wheeling across. Once they get to the other side, they swing back into the road again and proceed to hold up an entirely new line of traffic, which will include me once I get across the red light. Hey, listen up arsehole! I would have made that red light if you hadn't been holding me back.

 

Make up your fucking mind! Ride on the cycle paths and obey the road rules, or ride on the road and obey the road rules or use the pedestrian access and obey those rules. Don't mix and match because it makes me want to run you over in my very large bus. And it will be totally justifiable homicide!

 

I am ranting because I have to go into the city today and be pissed off on my birthday.

 

This guy says it better than I can.

 

(With thanks to Boyfriend, who inspired this post yesterday when he told me how much he originally paid for the bike that nows sits rusting and sad, plumbago twining through its spokes, in a corner of his garden. I would not be so enamoured of him if he was still riding it; not even if he wore the massive penis shorts. I hate cyclists. Except on Rottnest, where I am one. Or unicyclists. I kind of love them)

 

(Oooohhhh….. wonder what BF got me for my birthday? It had better not be anything bicycle related)

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About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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6 Responses to Hey, it’s my birthday today

  1. Kitty says:

    Thank you! That's so sweet.

    This is very tongue in cheek, by the way. I have had an excellent year since the last birthday and today promises to be the start of another terrific year.

    I am quite looking forward to working today because I will milk the birthday angle all I can and see if I get any material rewards for so doing! I prefer to think of it as a social experiment, rather than greedy, grasping and materialistic.

  2. Omari Omarya says:

    Peace and love!
    Oh! My dear don’t say like this: another terrific year!!! No, I will help you to pray…Kitty!
    GOD IS COMPASSIONATE, you have to glorify HIM, pray sister and you will see that your life will be very nice like a lovely garden with very nice flowers…
    You are so sweet that I will pray to you all time and tell me if there is any good news.
    We are strong only by faith.
    You are right this event is a social experiment, bravo!
    Peace and love to you Kitty and happy birth day to you.

  3. Kitty says:

    Oh no, terrific=slang for great. Not terrible!

    I do love life and count my blessings.

  4. Omari Omarya says:

    Oh! So please excuse me , please ! lloll
    I am idiot; ha ha ha
    All the best wishs , your are sweet and nice!
    May GOD protect you, Kitty.
    Peace and love!

  5. KAS says:

    LMAO, no comment!

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