TGIF

Except it isn't. Not for me. It is actually my Monday and I have five days of work to look forward to until my next day off.

 

My weekly schedule goes:

Saturday – special charter tour for aggressive young alcoholics. I will take many books. I wish I could take Valium.

Sunday – special charter tour for non-English speaking Chinese group. Very little wine, children en mass, lots of chocolate and nougat and cute animal stuff. Goddamn! They'll make me hold a koala so they can take photos. They always do. (Mental note to self: buy a packet of Caramello Koalas to hand out to the kids, they'll be so stoked. I love the way kids smile when you do something unexpected and awesome for them. Shut up; I do hate them really. Most of the time.)

Monday – day tour

Tuesday – day tour

Wednesday – day tour

 

Then the extra curricular activities involving housekeeping for daughters, looking after aged parent's decrepit animals and hosting a sex toy party on Wednesday night. Plus, cooking for daughter's 18th and doing decorations for that.

 

I'm exhausted right now.

 

I miss Boyfriend.

 

I've had a request for a facebook confirmation from the daughter of my dead best friend. I said yes and I looked at her page and recognised the mother in the daughter and then I cried, a lot. I miss her still, every day.

 

I am so scared of losing somebody else in my life. Those that I  love go away or die and I don't think I could survive that again. Life is so full of pain that it seems easier not to let your emotions get invested in the first place.

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About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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6 Responses to TGIF

  1. KAS says:

    Don't lie, you so totally don't like kids at all :-p

  2. Worker says:

    Kat, When I was younger I lost so many people in my life, either they left (moved away) or lost their lives as well, it sent me down a dangerous slide of stress and worry and had me being so over the top protective, it really was a bad place to be. I wish you all the best and keep your head up and remember those who have gone with love and happiness not the sadness. 🙂

  3. Kitty says:

    Worker, you're right, and for the most part, I think that I do a reasonable job these days. But I can't help feeling, in a very fatalistic way, that everybody good in my life will disappear. Which is true, I suppose; it just depends on the timeline.
    I can remember Ron with love and laughter and so much incredible joy and I (mostly) don't feel miserable about his absence anymore. That was the case even before I met BF.

    But my girlfriend I can't do anything other than regret the loss of. Her life was a waste, pure and simple, and her death nothing but unfair.

    I just expect that I don't have a right to have the people I love stick around in my life, and it seems more fact rather than a result of a mind made cynical by experience.

  4. Kitty says:

    KAS, you are right! What was I thinking?

    Chocolately faces, sticky fingers, nasty boring adoration…..uggghhhh!

    Nope, you've convinced me to cancel the Caramello Koalas. Those kids have you to thank!

  5. Worker says:

    I know how you feel, but at least you have those lovely memories even if both lives were taken from you in such a short way. I think you are lucky as you have had such wonder love and still do and I hope you always have that around you.

  6. KAS says:

    You the one that has to clean the bus love, Im just thinking of you x

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