I don’t need my washing machine malfunctioning first thing Monday morning (actually last thing Sunday night but I’d already gone to bed).
I especially don’t need it happening when I have ALL of my work clothes in there and as it was set on dark, non-colourfast wash, the resultant sitting has given me soapy, dirty, black stained clothes. And no shoes. What, you don’t wash your shoes? Trust me, mine crawl to the machine and beg for washing at the end of a long, hot Valley day.
I called the offcie this morning and informed them that I would be working out of uniform. There was a slight pause. I told them the reason why, and that they were lucky to have me dressed at all as I own so few clothes. The scenario that conjured up was obviously so horrific that I was instantly reassured that whateve I chose to wear was fine!
Washing machine technician = Wednesday.
Boyfriend looked at it and couldn’t seem to find out what was wrong. I was somehow convinced that he could fix it if he only tried hard enough, a totally spurious assumption on my part. Of course he was trying but I am feeling fragile at the moment. I don’t compare, I really don’t, but I’ve been thinking of Ron a lot lately and, of course, he had a background in plumbing.
Then I got too close to BF in a confined space and he (understandably, I felt, when he explained afterwards) got very uncomfortable and snapped at me, which upset me more. When he’d left for work, I just cried. It all seems too hard this week, like I just can’t handle one more petty thing on top of the load I have. I don’t want to have to chase up washing machine and technicians and paperwork. I am feeling very overwhelmed lately.
Today, driving home from work, I realised how tired I actually am. All my reaction skills were off in timing and I just couldn’t manage to make decisions decisively. I felt that I was a danger to others and myself on the road.
I am aware that this week I will be feeling very vunerable. Inevitably, emotions affect my current life in every aspect. Some anniverseries are worth forgetting.