I was writing something about how the only wisdom I’ve managed to vaccuum attach to my daughters’ brains is a life lesson that doesn’t show me in a good light at all.
Then my right eye got a two inch wide knife stabbed into it, I jerked and yelled and the wrong keyed button was pressed. I am sure it was brilliant; I am also sure that it will never be recollected enough so that I can bask in the glory of it.
The knife thing? Technically, not actually real. But that is exactly what it felt like. My eye had been hurting, with a dull throbbing pressure for a few days now. I just assumed that it was the aftermath of the SpankMonkey being affectionate, in the dark. He reached up to grab my shoulders and cuddle me close and instead jabbed me incredibly hard in the eye.
I assumed that the resultant bruising could be covered by makeup, which it was, and I didn’t make a deal out of it. It seemed to be getting better until today, when it started throbbing with much increased pressure.
I have this and this often is associated with that, and that can make you go blind if you don’t treat it aggressively. On the other hand, freqent useage of the eyedrops will lead to cataracts. There is a fine balancing act and I’m not achieving it.
Iritis needs an expert. Experts cost money. I am not amongst those who have the government help them out for expensive medical costs but I also can’t afford private insurance.
To go to the doctor simply to get a referral will cost me a lot of money. Some for the visit and a lot more for having to take the day off work; I don’t work and I won’t be getting paid.
The specialist appointment will require a lot more money, another day off work and then probably lots of prescriptions and ongoing medical treatment, still with aforementioned lack of income due to not working, in order to treat the problem.
In other words, sometimes health is a monetary choice. I choose a roof over my head and making sure that my daughters are okay, rather than wasting money on myself.
But, oh, I’d forgotten how much it hurt. My eye is swollen and throbbing and covered with bright red patches. I’ve been putting icepacks on it and it helps, a little.
What triggers it? I suppose the same thing that triggers my recurrent shingle blisters. A low immune system and stress. My working days make me so much tireder than I used to be.