A year

A year and a lot has changed in my life. I’ve bought my own place, had my daughters with me an awful lot of the time, made new friends, somehow managed to keep in touch with old ones, depleted my bank account, engaged in so many new experiences….I’ve settled into a life which I call happy (most of the time).

This has been the first year in a long time that I can think of as having ‘got it together’. I guess I am finally growing up.

Which leads to the question: “Did Wayne come into my life, due to the aforesaid start of the changes listed above (in which case, was changing me the catalyst)?, or did changes come about because he was in my life?”

I’m thinking a mixture of the two. It doesn’t really matter, either way. The growth that I have experienced over the last year has had him in it.

On the weekend we celebrated a year together. Our anniversery presents to each other were going halves in a motorbike helmet for me (damn, those things are expensive!). I hopped on the back of his bike and we took a gorgeous long scenic ride through the hills. I love sitting on the back of his bike, even though I am a control freak.  Now we don’t have to borrow other people’s helmets for me.

It was a low key day but the most important thing was spending it together.

Don’t you think we look happy? I do.

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About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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6 Responses to A year

  1. Snowy says:

    Good to hear, Kitty. It’s been a long road.

  2. quirkycharm says:

    Longer for those of you who have been reading it, I think. Achieving things on my own has been a really big factor in my acceptance of myself. I struggled to keep my head above water for such a long time. I am fiercely independent and I have suffered a lot from it, but I have also valued more the things that were hardest won.

    The boyfriend is definitely not peripheral to my life but I choose to spend time with him. Our relationship has definite barriers but that’s okay for now. I know I would miss him if he wasn’t around but I also know that I can definitely have a healthy, content life on my own.

    Would I do it all again? I really don’t know. I look back at the person I was and I feel so sorry for her. She tried so hard, did so much; none of it mattered a damn to the person whom it should have mattered most to.

    I can’t regret leaving. I can, and do, in a way that will leave raw scar tissue forever, regret the pain I caused all round. The conflagration that I caused was searingly bright and awful, for all concerned.

    These days, unmedicated, financially struggling, and incredibly long working hours: these days I burn more slowly, not as bright, but with longevity.

  3. quirkycharm says:

    Believe it or not, I grew up with that. There were times in my life when I couldn’t reconcile the desiderata with what I was doing, who I was and how I was acting. I knew what I wanted to be, who I wanted to be but I could never manage to achieve it.

    Like you, I still get so much out of this. Somewhere along the line, it sunk into me and I read it often to remind myself that words are all very well but actions count more.

  4. Girasole says:

    Happiness looks good on you 🙂

    xxxx

    • quirkycharm says:

      That’s so sweet; thank you. (By the way, noted your request, applying to situations – sorry, I have worked every day the last week and I am not being good on response time for emails)

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