Long time no write

Not before Christmas, in fact.

I was really busy: Christmas is always flat out tourism time and it only got a little bit quieter last week. This week our school kids have gone back after their long summer break and that’s probably part of it.

There’s been good and bad stuff happening. Wayne’s mother died and that was really sad for him, although expected. It is, after all, why he went back to Canada last year for three weeks to see her, while she was well enough. He didn’t go back for the funeral because there wasn’t one: she wanted to be interred and everything is deep frozen. Instead they had a memorial service.

My dad’s oncologist said his operation went really well. But now apparently there is a problem with one of his kidneys: it may or may not be related and they are going to remove it. My poor father has gone through so much lately and he never complains. Neither does my stepmama. I am now making it a point to spend much more time with them, conscious of the fact that time is not on our side.

We  (me, my girls and the husband) had a wonderful time for six nights on Rottnest, a gorgeous little holiday island off the coast.

We rode around on bicycles (no vehicles apart from those owned by the island administration are permitted), swam, fished and just generally enjoyed ourselves. It was a lovely winding down from the stresses of the time before Christmas.

The horrible hole in my breast has at last healed. Daily packing and irrigation definitely made the difference. I gave up on going to the doctor to have the nurses check it over as it was simply too busy to ever manage to get an appointment and I felt that I could do it okay myself. The hardest part was the skin peeling off from my allegies to the adhesive tape that held the dressings on. Once we went on holiday, I swam so much that I used to swim a little out to sea and then pull down the top of my swimsuit and flush it out with the lovely clean seawater and it seemed to heal amazingly fast after that.

I am still very, very sore and the poor boob looks deformed. Sadly, it seems that the holes of my piercings have healed up in the middle and I am too much of a coward to have them pierced again – they hurt so much the first time and it is supposed to be worse through scar tissue. Also, I got so much disapproval from medical staff every time the existence of the piercings was disclosed and I was always having to take them out for surgeries and biopsies and MRIs etc. It makes me sad, though, because they were very much a part of me for five years and certainly added a sensual aspect to my life.

I am just starting to run again, very slowly, with lots of ouching and sometimes, with wearing two support bras. We will see if it gets possible to run consistently again. Right now I can’t imagine it because I still feel so very very bruised and sore and I have red marks where I imagine calipers or some sort of clamping equipment held during the surgery. I have to have six monthly checkups and tests but still I am aware that I have been very, very fortunate and it was caught as early as it was possible to catch. “Almost pre-cancerous, really,” said my doctor breezily, and I have to feel a bit of a fraud, because what they thought was cancer on the ultrasound turned out to be scar tissue and this teeny weeny 3mm tumour turned up when they took the scar tissue out. A lucky fraud, but still.

I have to say that Wayne has really made a huge effort and embraced the whole healthy heart and living lifestyle. He has lost 11.5 kilos since his heart attack, exercises regularly and never grumbles about the sheer quantity of vegetables I make him eat. It is ironic that I haven’t lost any weight in spite of eating exactly the same diet and the same quantities but then I really never do lose weight very easily. I am on a migraine preventative drug called Topamax, which is actually used as a weight loss drug in obese people and I haven’t lost any weight on it at all. At least, I don’t think I have. I don’t own a scale and I am happy with my own body image, fat or thin: truly.

We have restructured our finances to take into account the possibility I may be an early widow. It sounds coldblooded but there are some debts that I, as the surviving relative, would have to pay. Very short term it is causing me angst because I hate dealing with banks but it was my suggestion and medium long term it is much the best thing for both of us. Hoping for the best but expecting the worst, is my motto this year.

So this year in front of us I think will be hard but we should still be grateful for what we have. That is life – some ups, some downs and none of us deserve more or less than anybody else.

Roll on 2013… can you believe it is February already?!



About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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9 Responses to Long time no write

  1. Snowy says:

    Was wondering where you’d got to. Glad to hear everything is going along as well as can be expected.

    • quirkycharm says:

      I like the way you are still looking out for me. Still ticking along; just not much leisure time these days. And not much angst, either. Dare I say it? – I seem to have grown up at long last.

      • Snowy says:

        Happy for you. Lots of water flowed under the bridge since the old Whitepage days. I still stay in touch with a few on Facebook. We’re all older, and hopefully wiser.

  2. Brad (Griff) says:

    Hey you. I’ve been following your posts through email, but not replying or commenting much. I’m slack :). You sound so much happier than ‘before’ my friend 🙂

    • quirkycharm says:

      Griff, you’re not slack (and I follow you, too). I *am* so much happier than before. It took a long time but I got here. I think of my old Whitepage friends often, and especially of her.

      I hope you get happy, too, my friend.

      • Brad (Griff) says:

        I am happy :). At the moment trying to organise a move South to be closer to the one that has helped make me happy again 😉

        • quirkycharm says:

          Hmm, either you are not blogging this (absolutely no reason you should be [?]), or my following of your blog has stuffed up in some way[?]. Either way, I am so very happy that you are happy again, my friend. Keep in touch here and there, okay? My fingers are crossed that the southern move works out.

          • Brad (Griff) says:

            Kind of quiet. Keeping things off the web a bit due to Her ex being an arsewipe control freak psychologically abusive *fcuk-stick*. I can’t write what I’d like to say about him…the screen would melt 🙂

            • quirkycharm says:

              Yes, I well remember how that went. I don’t want to say anything too bad about the father of my daughters because we do get on now but there was a period where he was somewhat like that (maybe relationship breakdown makes everybody a bit deranged initially) and he was an IT guru and he pretended to be me all over the web. I am still trying to put out the fires of that particular flareup, which he prefers to ignore as if it never happened – people still believe I went through a violently deranged written period and there are some websites which I am permanently banned from still!

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