What is my number one dislike today?

When my Dad writes a generic email to all family members, humbly asking them to drop in on his birthday (tomorrow).

Because it means that he doesn’t think he will be around for the next one.


We had planned a family get together, with everybody else doing all the cooking, at his home on the weekend. He agreed, then changed his mind, saying he wasn’t up to it.


Then this email. It is superfluous, of course. None of the family would let this birthday pass by. But it hurts me to recognise that he reaches out because he must be scared that this will be his last and he wants to mark it. Not for him; never for him. I can detect my stepmama’s hand in this; telling him he has to do it for his children and for her.


What we are doing is trying to store up happy memories. I have these already and I know my Dad falls back on his store, just as I do on mine. I will be there, I would never not be there, but I just want him to relax and not think of others right now. He is posed, balancing, at a point that only he can work with and that gives him the right to relax and freefall, being true only to himself.


I hate this.


About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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