I just got news from the English part of the family. My cousin’s daughter died early this morning. I am not sure of the details but it was sudden and unexpected.
My poor aunt must be suffering greatly with the loss of her granddaughter and the imminent loss of her brother. I spent a lot of last night writing emails to the family, telling them that my father is deteriorating fast, so she would have got that email first and now this.
Last night was a hard one for me. I cried a lot and it was pretty miserable. Today I mostly spent sleeping off what I am coming to refer to as ‘the grief flu’. It builds up in waves and then recedes again and I feel not so sad. I honestly can’t decide if I want it go fast, to end his misery, or slower so that I get to spend more time with my Dad.