I am giving myself the day off from things today – typically, I would be doing cleaning and washing and gardening, all necessary household stuff (ok, gardening is more of a pleasure) on my day off. I went out to get necessary food items and the rest of the day is allocated for dealing with things to do with my father’s death.
I need to finish my eulogy for him and I write and rewrite and always it comes out not good enough. I want it to be perfect for my Dad and the harder I try, the worse it gets.
Added to that, the lawyer of his estate sent me a ‘keeping you informed’ type of letter and talked about his estate. Basically, he left everything to his three children, with a life interest to his wife. That means that we get nothing until she dies. I am fine with this; indeed, I don’t expect or want anything from either of my parents. But the complicated bit is that he left it via a family trust and that means that the gifts he wanted (I just wrote ‘wants’: it is heartbreaking to proofread for tense) to give people are part of the Trust and therefore material possessions that weren’t specifically deeded don’t get given. Yes, if all three of us children agree, they can go to the desired recipient but I am thinking ‘particular child, particular item – watch this space’.
And the thought of that one gift not going to the person my Dad most wanted it to go it breaks my heart.