What is there about blogging that makes it necessary to go public?

Why do we seek attention this way? So few people read this little blog of mine and it was created anonymously to limit the amount of people reading as well. Yet, I feel compelled to write on it and talk about things that probably shouldn’t be said out here. Somehow I am pandering to an imaginative audience and I dislike the way that makes me feel but, at the same time, I like the attention it garners. Not healthy. I have been changing my habits for over three years now.

I try to use filters. I try to think about how my writing could effect other people and, given that ex romantic relationship stalkery people in my life still seem so fascinated in what I am doing, I try to consider my words with regard to what I think they should or shouldn’t know. And, yes, I am using ‘they’ as a multiple pejorative, deliberately.

There is a ton of stuff going on right now and I want to write it all down and share some or all of it. But I either can’t (because it isn’t all about me), or I shouldn’t (because it would reflect very negatively on some individuals who are already fundamentally damaged).

I AM writing about it. Just privately. Keeping it to myself, like an old fashioned paper diary with a lock and a key. Except this is 2014 and the diary is the Internet and pretty much everybody seems to be able to get a spare key cut. Whatever. I’m making the effort to keep it private.

Still, as a summary, if you ever see pieces of writing referencing sisterly betrayal, LifeLine and 101 home torture methods for the assholes in your life, you’ll know that somebody lent somebody else the key:

Blood is apparently not thicker than water.

Strangers are good for grounding.

Common ground means 50/50 civil and active.

And I still want to blurt it all out there and tell all the nitty, gritty, down and disgusting details to an audience that isn’t there and, quite frankly, that is only invested so far as my life is a role model as an antonym for bad choices and therefore makes splendid reading.

I swear, though, at ninety years old, I am getting one of those life -box recorder thingies and reading out all of my private entries. I’ll bet that won’t get played at the memorial service!

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About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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4 Responses to What is there about blogging that makes it necessary to go public?

  1. Cess says:

    Good on you for leaving your job if it was making you unhappy – life is too short. I know we’ve talked about this before, but I really think you should write… you have such a wonderful way with words.
    PS. I love reading your blog.

  2. Cate says:

    Sorry life is throwing you some curve balls at the moment. I really adore your style, so honest and brutally funny. Of course you want/need to keep some things to yourself, but I do feel privileged to share your journey and so glad we got back in touch after so many years. It won’t be long before you have another job! I think they did well to keep you so long, I would have thought this type of industry has a high turn over of staff. It would have been nice if they tried to entice you to stay! C

  3. Suzy says:

    I was actually thinking about just the same sort of thing today. I’m blogging because I need to get things out, but them I’m editing and filtering myself because I know it will be read – even if by only a few – and I’ll be judged for it. So I’m not getting it all out like I would if it were a true diary sort of thing. I still haven’t made up my mind on how to best deal with this, so let me know if you do!

  4. quirkycharm says:

    Well, I am not too shy to blog about work stuff – this is in no way linked with anybody at work. I have a work twitter account, which requires me to live tweet on the road and I find it so It is more about the personal stuff that involves other people. I am handling it by providing a password to those people I know well, who might want to read (I wait for them to ask, however, as I am under no illusions that my banal life is of interest).

    And Cate, and Cess, two dear friends from way back: I love the fact that we are back in contact but I am definitely not the person I was back in high school/college days. It is hard to adjust that new me to fit the parameters of the person you knew before; I think I do it better in person because I am used to putting on a show as part of my job.

    Suzy gets it, as she has been a blogger acquaintance from way back. She knows about doing the whole TMI stuff. It seems so absolutely relevant at the time and the friends I made online proved an invaluable support network at a time when even my own family disowned me. When you have very little (be it social, financial or emotional) you make a big deal out of the connections you DO have.

    But it gets less appropriate as you evolve into other forms of social construct and how I handle it is to always consider whether I am writing solely about me or if it involves a real life situation (other people or employment). If it is only about me, I will publish and be damned; if it involves more, then I sit on it for at least 12 hours or more. Mostly, when I come back to it, it is published as ‘private’.
    The writing of it is often cathartic enough and I consider that I don’t get the right to put my feelings above the perfectly valid emotions of others, even if I can’t appreciate them at the time.

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