I know they were interested; my current employer told me that they approached her for a reference. She said that she gave me an amazing one.
But all along I felt like maybe I wasn’t a great fit for the company: they wanted me but they couldn’t work out how to fit me into their dynamic. They are a small (expanding) business and right now it is all about getting people to fit into the right slots, rather than altering the slots to accommodate the people. Overheads and costs are really important at small business level.
They told me it would take a while; at least a week to ten days or maybe even longer. I haven’t pursued it but I will follow up at the end of this week to get interview feedback for future use.
In the meantime, I had the opportunity today to register my interest in a position I would really, really love. Jobwise, this is pretty much my dream role. I think I have a great chance, too. But it comes with a price. Leaving my husband for possibly months at a time. If I wasn’t married, yeah, like a shot.
But now? I don’t know. And if I don’t take it, because of him, because he doesn’t want me to work away, I am again adapting my lifestyle to fit in with the wishes of some man. Even though he is my man, and even though I love him so dearly, the mere thought of sublimating my wishes, desires and needs as secondary to a male again is so abhorrent.
He goes away for work, for a job that he doesn’t always enjoy. Given the opportunity for me to do the same, in a role that challenges and fulfils me, why wouldn’t I want to do it?