I have a guaranteed job already. Well, as guaranteed as anything is, without a signed contract and they mostly don’t exist in tourism, unless it is government. I know I could manage that job and it really was one I wanted until the potential option came up. Now it feels like I would be settling for second best.
I am waiting so that the Operations Manager can speak to the company owners and give a ‘yea or nay’ and then I can plan my future for next year accordingly. But I don’t like being in limbo and I especially don’t like feeling like I am stringing along the first company. I didn’t actually say that I would take the job and we agreed that I would do some survey tours in January to see if I was a good fit for the company: I am under no illusion that if somebody more suitable came along (ie a couple – and they are re-advertising, something they didn’t tell me but which I’ve seen) they wouldn’t immediately discard me. However, I feel I am not being 100% upfront and no matter how the game is played, my own duplicity really bothers me.
I don’t like the person I am currently being and it is making me very depressed.