My father has been dead for about 18 months now and the reality of a world without him has become the new normal. I think of him often, both sadly and joyfully, but I don’t dwell on it any more. In time, it has settled to become the accepted part of the human life cycle that is inevitable and I can acknowledge my feelings yet not become overwhelmed by them.

Today, though, I got an email from my stepmother. It was nothing important but they had always used a shared email address and the sender would come up as his name because he set it up. I changed it in my list on contacts so that it only reflected her but outgoing from her end always shows it as him.

I’ve had this before and it was no big deal but today it hit me harder than a ton of bricks. I forgot, I honestly forgot that he was dead and my mind registered for a second, “Oh, a random email from Dad, how nice. I wonder what he has to say today?”, before it flipped back to reality and I just lost it.


About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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