I am writing about the first tour but right now I want to indulge myself in more of a personal way.
I miss my family. I miss them a lot. And, at the same time, I am aware that they probably miss me more: the ones stuck at home aren’t experiencing the excitement of a new environment and its challenges and achievements.
I think about those people at home and I worry about whether they are looking after themselves, both physically and mentally. I am egotistical enough to suspect that, without my input, things might slide a little. I worry about cleanliness and food. I am not there to cook dinner any more and I am not entirely convinced that my husband will.
When I first met him, he was working long hours and just sort of let things lapse a lot. He didn’t cook at all and his meals consisted of greasy shit eaten out or sandwiches eaten at home. Yep; after a 12 hour day, a sandwich was dinner. I don’t want him to go back to that and I’ve suggested that he utilise one of those meal delivery services: it would save on grocery shopping time as well as keeping him healthy.
I was talking to him the other night about our respective life paths right now and I mentioned that I didn’t have time to eat on tour, even when cooking. I also added that there was some leftover food from the tour, which I gratefully took home, being broke right now. Practical me made sandwiches from all the bread and cold cuts and I individually wrapped each and froze them. Now I have a supply that I can grab when I come in late and don’t want to shop or cook. I don’t have the creativity to think of meals after using my brain constantly on tour.
So I told my husband this, feeling quite smug about this useful approach to nutrition. There was a pause. We recognised it instantly. There’s been a 180 flip in our food philosophy. I am now Sandwich Lady and he is now Balanced Nutrition Guy. I regrouped and told him that the circumstances were totally different and not comparable in any way.
I guess I am also Hypocrite Woman.