There was a struggle with acceptance going on. I was frantically reaching out for support as I felt myself going under and I called a lot of people. I believe I mentioned that there aren’t any support groups for people exactly in my sort of circumstances – you know that your family person is going to die much sooner than they should but you just don’t know when. Limbo is horrible and I personally deal much better with facing concrete facts, no matter how awful.
I am seeing a counsellor and I think he is helping, even if only by validating my grief. It’s been a shitty last two years and my mental resources are very depleted.
All that down the phone sobbing apparently paid off somewhere, though. I’ve just received a full envelope stuffed with useful numbers, a membership card and offers of ongoing support as well as discounted things in everyday life. Me being me, my immediate reaction is to feel undeserving and guilty because I am coping so much better now but I have to say that the service is top notch. My state government is definitely caring for the carers!