My insurance company has been pestering me lately with offers for this and that. So far I’ve shrugged them off but they keep calling.
Last night I frankly told one of them that it wasn’t a good time right now. She apologised and I hung up. This morning I had another call (onto my mobile, rather than landline so obviously pulling out all stops) and I again reiterated the ‘not a good time right now scenario.
I said that there was a family health crisis and I’d appreciate not being called again. And then he flabbergasted me by asking when was a good time to call for these amazing offers.
It’s like nobody listened to the words coming out of my mouth. I actually said “My brother is terminally ill and I can’t focus on anything else for a few months.”
He pushed and pushed for a better time to call me.
So I told him that I’d be happy to give him a date but, alas, even my brother’s doctors couldn’t give a precise date for dying so I was unfortunately otherwise distracted until that nebulous time.
And I added, “I will be sure to call you once he’s dead, though. Count on it; can’t miss out on these bargains!”.
Looking back, I am surprised. I am still apparently in the ‘anger’ stage of grieving. I would have thought that acceptance was a more appropriate stage right now. I DO accept it but I am so angry all of the time.
(Example: I have to cook tonight for the SES meeting. I need to be with my brother overnight so his sick wife can get some sleep and I resent prior obligations. I will do it but I am doing it quick and easy and when my husband asked about dessert, my response was that they didn’t deserve dessert.)
I can’t somehow wrap my mind around the fact that he is dying through random chance/fate/call it whatever the fuck you want, when there are so many, many useless contributors to society out there. It makes me a fairly shitty person t deal with right now.