No hospital tonight

I’m at home sick. I felt yuckky yesterday but chalked it up to being so exhausted from these horrible days. Getting up at 4 to take my husband to the airport was hard and I went back to bed afterwards, to try and bank some sleep for the long night ahead.

When I woke up, I ached and I still felt tired and disappointed in myself for my exhaustion but I went to the hospital anyway.

 

He was very restless and constantly trying to get up. I feel so bad when I have to hold him down, as did the nurses around me., while we waited for meds to kick in.

He is not going to get out of bed again. He’s too strong, too heavy, too much in danger of falling. Even with three of us, we can’t lift or carry him. My back hurts constantly from having done so for these last few months. But he doesn’t understand why he can’t get up and he constantly tries to. He kept saying ‘horrible’, ‘atrocious’ and ‘had enough’, as he thrashed beneath our hands and we pumped syringes full of gaga juice into him and waited for them to work.

At one stage I reassured the nurses that he wouldn’t hurt any of us and he immediately chimed in, ‘yes, I will!’. No, my darling brother. You’ve never deliberately hurt somebody in your life and even now, your every resisting movement are slow and gentle enough to be countered. Hurting people isn’t in your nature.

 

Eventually he fell into a deep sleep around ten and I drifted and dozed around the hours, waking from nightmarish monster dreams to check him, until I was relieved by somebody else.  I went straight home and feel too unwell to do anything like call people or go out so I am sweltering/shivering in bed, watching my temp register from 39.2 degrees to 37.6 and feeling utterly crappy.

 

I am not calling my mother/husband/kids/SIL etc. They’ve all got too much to deal with already and presumably somebody will notice my absence after a while and hopefully I’ll be better by then.

Advertisements

About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s