Monthly Archives: January 2017

I think you just get tired

Or I do, anyway. I feel perpetually exhausted at the thought of the struggle to come out on the other side of this latest bout of depression. I’ve done all the right things, put all the support networks in place … Continue reading

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Not doing so well

I think it is because I’m not working. I never do well when I’m in a low cycle and I’m not fully occupied 18 hours a day.   My husband is getting fed up with me and I don’t blame … Continue reading

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I don’t like telling people

Presumably it will get easier but it is so hard right now. Thinking about why, it occurs to me that I can’t handle the social obligation politeness. Tell somebody that your brother just died (mostly as an explanation for why … Continue reading

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Grief takes odd forms

Today, for me, it has presented as huddling on my bed, with tears dripping into the jar of brandied pears I am eating for breakfast. The salt is adding a certain boost to the flavour.   I am not sure … Continue reading

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A Narcissist’s Prayer

    That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if … Continue reading

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Back home from remote camping

Being away was so good for me: unfamiliar surroundings, with no internet or phone access, meant no thinking about what we’ve lost. No reminders. It was very soothing to my raw emotional shell.   But now I’m back and I’m … Continue reading

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