Based on what I’ve previously posted, and as an ongoing series, I’ve decided to tell how things really are on the road. We talk a LOT and the passengers aren’t aware of how things really are. In bold are the things we say and in italics are what they really mean.
Just going to check the tyres.
When your tour guide/driver announces the stoppage that way, he/she is pissing behind the trailer, out of the view of the dashboard cam and the passenger windows. Because you don’t get the chance to go to the toilet much at stops; hordes of incontinent people are already queuing for the two available long drops.
Completing the formalities.
In that vein, if everybody has already boarded to a specified morning departure time and the crew then don’t turn up for ten more minutes, it’s because we are changing our dirty pack-up clothes for fresh ones and using the bathroom without a queue.
Sometimes we are actually completing necessary paperwork as well (driver log books, defect sheets, vehicle checks etc) but that bathroom visit happens as well.