Tour Guide Truth

When we say that your bag is too big for luggage storage, we actually mean that.

You were given size dimensions in your tour information and we don’t care that you called up the office and said it was only a couple of inches bigger and they told you it was okay.

The luggage rack is actually built to specific measurements and your bag being bigger than that means that it won’t fit in. Especially if it has wheels – again, information tells you to bring a soft bag.

You aren’t special and there is no fucking way I’m going to have oversized bags sitting in front of my food stores because they don’t fit it in the luggage racks. I load those racks and I will make sure that your bags fit in. They might have been rigid frame before but I guarantee they won’t be after fourteen days of me making them fit.

Also, if you can’t carry the bag you are bringing on the tour, then you are in for a world of grief. I am not a porter and I won’t move it around for you. I’ve actually stood at a airline luggage carousel and had people say to me ‘How do I get my bag to the bus?’.

My answer is ‘airline trolley and push it if you can’t carry it’; I’ve also been known to say that if they can’t manage the weight of their own bag, that they personally packed, they might just have to transfer things into a smaller bag that they can carry.

If I ever do end up with extra luggage in my cook trailer aisle, due to space issues, you can pretty much rest assured that every time I have to move the bags (because I can’t access the things I need for meals until I do and that is probably five times a day), I will kick the shit out of them. I’ll literally hurl them out of the back of the trailer into the dirt and woe betide anybody that complains about such treatment.


About quirkycharm

I like to think that I have a certain quirky charm but I am probably being optimistic. Acquired taste, perhaps, which many don't acquire. This is about my fifth blog out there. My hosting companies kept going out of business or my IT exhusband kept hacking into them and I would move again. I don't do twitter, I barely do facebook, I don't try and 'monetize' my blog. I love my husband, my grown children and my job and this particular incarnation of oversharing my life comes at a time when I am the most content that I have ever been. I write always, sporadically during the good stuff and exhaustingly during the bad.
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One Response to Tour Guide Truth

  1. Cate Rose says:

    My goodness people who flout the luggage rules really get my goat. When we flew to Canada we had a very modest amount of luggage: two small bags on wheels which I bought specifically because the trains have strict size requirements and each of us had a backpack. The luggage was way below allowed weight and size, plus we only had 2 pieces not one each allowed, was checked, we only took four little day packs for the flights. Do you think that we could find a place for the backpacks in the overhead lockers??? People had brought enormous amounts of luggage on the plane and all sorts of oversized bags, shopping bags – the rules where never enforced. They elbowed their way in front put all their stuff in the overhead lockers meaning no space for the people (us!) actually sitting in those seats. But we were the ones laughing when we easily managed our belongings (& the kids!) at the airport, on buses and trains and even walking from train stops to hotels without needing a taxi. Travelling light makes it that much easier. I feel sorry for you having to suffer the consequences of passenger ignorance- or is that arrogance? – shame you can’t just stuff all their belongings into a reusable grocery bag and tell them to collect the rest when they get back from the trip. Nothing worse than struggling to lug huge bags around! How much stuff do you really need on a camping holiday???

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