I think I’m in a good place right now. I don’t write much here any more, mainly because I’m too busy.
Over my brother’s death? No, not at all but I have a very functional life around it and the grief spurts last so much less than they used to.
I have an amazing husband and our relationship continues to go from strength to strength.
I have a job that I love, that takes me travelling all over.
I am very much in demand for work with other companies.
The most exciting thing currently is I am setting up my own business, with my work partner. I don’t know if it will be successful or not but I’ve always wanted to try. It will be worked initially around my other commitments but long term, I hope it brings in enough to support my husband when he is forced out of the workforce (metal worker, you can’t go on doing it until 65/70).
I am forming a partnership with my work partner and we both agree that it is worth putting some effort and money into it.
Unfortunately, this has been a bad year for us moneywise. We paid a shipload for my hospitalisation treatments early on this year (totally worth it, though); and both my daughters needed bailing out from overseas. We’d also committed to an overseas holiday before any of this went down. There’s not a lot of spare cash around right now.
I don’t want to take anything out of our joint account so I’ve been saying yes to whatever work offered and banking that money. I’m also using my tax refund cheque when I get it. Hopefully, that will be enough for start up costs and we hope to run our first trip in Tasmania in February.
I’m thinking that I’m crazy because I already work so much but now it will be much more. My husband is supportive it (although he doesn’t think it will work) and knows that I want to try. I’ve always wanted to, actually, but I was never game to do it as a solo operator, which would have meant putting my assets on the line; the partnership is a limited one and outside of all personal assets so I won’t lose my house or car if it all goes belly up.
We’ve identified a niche market (extremely important in tourism) and now we want to see if we can make it work.
Currently I am at home, frantically trying to deep cleanse my house, sort out cupboards, garden etc. My husband has been amazing about keeping the house clean and I appreciate it so much but he doesn’t do all the regular stuff that needs to be done every six months or so – dusting skirting boards, walls, oiling floors , cleaning ovens and microwave, cleaning out fridge and freezer, sorting out cupboards etc etc. You get the idea. I am to blame really because when I come home from trips I am just exhausted and need the time to recuperate and I scatter my stuff all over.
The day I get back, I have my cousin’s son coming to stay and then I am working locally and then we are off to Canada for Christmas. None of us could face Christmas this year as it will be the second one Charles won’t be here for and it makes it heart wrenchingly real all over again. He’s really gone. So my mum and stepdad are going on a cruise, my SIL and nephews are having Christmas in the UK and we are going to Canada.
My younger brother is bringing his family out to stay with an old friend of his for Christmas and I’ve offered the use of my car and house. Which means that I need to tidy every wardrobe, cupboard etc and I have such limited time to do so. Their household has a stay at home mother and a full time maid and I know they think our Australian houses are dirty anyway because we were shoes inside. I can’t possibly live up to that standard but I’m trying!
In other news, it has been five years since I had a very early grade 1 tumour removed from my breast and I am now on the right side of the statistics – NED. It felt right to mark the occasion by having my nipples re-pierced. I hated taking out the piercings for surgery but they wouldn’t do it otherwise and the holes closed up almost immediately. I’ve tried various times to do it myself (even got my doctor friend to try) and the scar tissue just wouldn’t let it happen. I was inspired by my youngest who had had one of hers done and loved it. I remembered how much I had loved it and I gritted my teeth and went through with it.
It was just as painful this time but I’m so happy I forced through it. I look at my breasts and they look like mine again. My piercings and tattoos were so much part of my identity in this post divorce life I built for myself and it feels good to get that missing piece back.
I’m off early Sunday morning for my next tour; Kangaroo Island and the Murray River and places over there, a trip I haven’t done before. I was doing some research and looking at the run sheet and I noticed that we passing through the little town of Goolwa. I have a friend there that I met in Alice Springs on a tour and I haven’t seen her since then. So I’ve made the executive decision that we are having morning tea in Goolwa. She was so excited when I told her and said she’d take a couple of hours off work and show me around. That made me laugh.
It will be thirty minutes. We run a very tight schedule on most tours so I can’t make it any longer. Story of my life, really. I’ve made amazing friends in a lot of outback towns but I never have time to see them. Still, I schedule coffee dates wherever I can and this is going to be one of them. Now I just have to come up with a plausible explanation of why we are stopping there, apart from it being of benefit to me!