A year and a bit since my brother has been gone and I haven’t been able to view the recorded (for overseas family) video. I can’t look at any FB posts his widow puts up or I go into the black funk.
I’ve unfriended and blocked so many people on FB just because they were friends of his and have since dropped off the radar: there was a huge amount of interest in how he was progressing during that time and I felt like every enquiry was some sort of status symbol for my brother. He was admired and respected and loved and I wanted (he wanted) people to know of his situation.
It hurts too much to see the happy photos of all of his friends carrying on without him. Not their fault, not mine but why bother to continue a superficial friendship online when the sole reason for it was his illness and subsequent death?
Life, in many ways, is totally back to normal. I just feel there is a hole where he used to be.