My dear, sweet guy offered me some money. As a gift, not a loan. He knows that I am struggling right now. Of course, I can’t take it but it was really lovely of him to offer it.
My exhusband also called up and offered me the roofrack I’d been trying to buy off him (but his price had previously been too high). He was happy with a carton of beer in exchange. Unfortunately, the steel had already been obtained so Boyfriend was committed to making it (and secretly, I think he wants to; in this mixed-up household, manufactured steel objects are more romantic than a bunch of the best red roses).
The fact that both of the major men in my life, (and yes, the ex-husband is always going to be one of those. After all, I was married to him for 16 years and he is the father of my girls and a very good dad, too. He shaped a lot of my life and he continues to shape theirs), can make these generous offers to me makes me feel good about choosing them in the first place.
I’ve always said that I regarded my first marriage as a success for however long it lasted and I hold by that. My current relationship is the same. These men have value in my life.
(Not that I think seriously about ending what I have with the Boyfriend, no matter how frustrated I can get at times, and no matter how much I emote here. One of the best things about our relationship is that we can talk things out and talking gives the opportunity for perspective. There is always baggage from past relationships and if we can recognise that, then hopefully, we can move past it.
I’ve said before, and I reiterate: I honestly believe that this relationship is the most mature that I’ve ever had. That maturity comes from talking and talking and talking. I am not investing everything I have and neither is he: I would survive without him, and vice versa. But we give each other such a lot; it seems stupid to not try and continue doing so)